


Fear By Fear (Remake My Heart)

by CycloneRachel



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15976412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CycloneRachel/pseuds/CycloneRachel
Summary: Or, the one where Winn finally tells Brainy how he really feels.





	Fear By Fear (Remake My Heart)

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by an answer to a question I asked AO3 user danigobingo, about these two and how a scene like this would go! and then I just decided to write it because why not.
> 
> also, this is technically an AU, but takes place pretty much between 3x17 and 3x18.

_Tonight._

_I’m gonna tell him tonight._

Winn suddenly regretted ever promising that, as he stood outside of Brainy’s room with shaking hands. He knew what he wanted to say, but knew that the moment he saw Brainy, he’d forget everything, and end up looking like an idiot, and of course when _that_ happened Brainy would never return his feelings…

He wished he was better at this. That his past attempts at love hadn’t all ended in heartbreak, one way or another, as much as he’d moved on from them.

He was trying to move on, of course, that was why he was there- but part of him still dreaded this, because he knew it might very well end up like the others.

And the worst part was that he’d still have to work with Brainy, if he was rejected. That they’d have to circle each other, like Winn had with Kara what felt like ages ago, and Winn wouldn’t look at Brainy because he’d inevitably start wondering about what could have been.

But if he _wasn’t-_

Well, that was something he couldn’t imagine. Even though their relationship had been getting better, Winn couldn’t get himself to picture any scenario other than one where he said no to him, and though he didn’t like it, he knew his odds of success were much, much lower than the opposite.

 _He really is rubbing off on me,_ he thought, running a hand through his hair. _Damn him._

 _Damn him,_ really, was what summarized his thoughts during their first interaction. Damn him, and that thing he did with his hands that was somehow cute. Damn him, and how smart he was, and how he insisted on being the most intelligent person in the room even if he wasn’t working with something he knew well. Damn him and how he was allowed to act out, because that was expected of him when he was stressed out. Damn him and his arrogance. Damn him and his stubbornness, his hubris. Damn his expectations, of the DEO and of Winn himself.

But most of all, damn how this experience made Winn ultimately understand Brainy.

As Winn understood, Brainy usually did serve as mission control for the Legion, all by himself, and thus took all the responsibility for their missions going well or not. He took his job seriously, and if something went wrong, it was his failure. Something that reflected on his abilities, and he wouldn’t let that happen. He was expected to be better. He had to be.

Winn didn’t mean to see Brainy’s face, after he was praised for finding a solution to the communication problem between the Legion ship and the DEO. But he did- and he was surprised to see Brainy looking put out and, he had to admit, hurt. At the moment, seeing it, he couldn’t help but feel triumphant- _in your face, Brainiac. Finally got one over on you._

But after he started learning more about Brainy, he felt terrible about thinking those things. From Brainy’s perspective, he was supposed to be getting the credit for that idea, as he’d proposed it, even if it was a joke and not exactly as he’d described. He was the experienced hero, and he expected people to respect that.

It was too bad that he’d butted in on an established team, and Winn was the one with the home-field advantage. Everyone already loved Winn- so what did they need Brainy for, if he was just going to do Winn’s work, but be an asshole about it?

Winn didn’t see it as a surprise, then, when he found out that Brainy had been sent on a mission after that one, and was unable to work directly with the DEO for several weeks.

After a reception like that, who could blame him? He certainly wouldn’t want to return, with an initial reception like that.

Brainy did, though, and the next time he and Winn worked together, things were better. Winn was glad for it- he really didn’t want to hate Brainy, despite his behavior, and even allowed himself to joke with Brainy, relaxing as they got used to one another.

(It didn’t take long at all for Winn to get used to Brainy’s image inducer form, even though he saw right through it. Brainy’s behavior notwithstanding, as a human, he was still attractive, and that was just a fact that Winn couldn’t ignore.)

The situation after that was far too dire for either of them to bring up previous grievances against each other. It wouldn’t have mattered, in the grand scheme of things, and even though there were no words spoken about it, their rivalry was quietly set aside.

Now, however, things were settling down. Time was running out for Winn to say anything, and he knew he’d agreed on that night to finally tell Brainy the truth.

He only hoped he’d agree with him, that things had changed enough for both of them to exchange their first mutual hatred for a different kind of passion altogether.

Finally, Brainy opened the door, and Winn nearly ran away, even after going through practically their entire history of knowing one another and coming to the conclusion that this was worthwhile.

“Winslow?” he asked. “You wanted to talk?”

“Y-yeah.” Winn said, hands behind his back. “About… how I feel about you. Honestly.”

Brainy was taken aback, though quickly recovered.

“Oh, I know exactly what you think of me, Winn.” He answered. “You hate me. You believe I am too intelligent for my own good, and because of that, you can take advantage of my lack of knowledge about the twenty-first century on the pretenses of it being a joke- even when you are _dying_.”

“Okay…” Winn started. “I wasn’t completely myself then. But, no, I think you’re exactly as smart as you know you are, and on top of it you’re a good person. And as much as I may have thought that I hated you before… the truth is… you’ve become really important to me. Querl. I- I love you. And I don’t want to lose you.”

Winn stared at Brainy, trying to read what he was thinking from how he was looking at him.

He couldn’t do it, as much as he wanted to. Brainy’s face was completely emotionless, blank, and Winn hated it- as cute as it was, objectively.

Finally, however, Brainy reached for his face, and Winn didn’t pull away, as he softly kissed Winn’s forehead.

When Brainy pulled back, though, Winn saw his smile, as if he’d been waiting to do it for a long time- and without hesitation, he pulled Brainy back in, this time kissing his lips.

Winn acknowledged, before, that he had been afraid of exposing his true feelings to Brainy. But in that moment, kissing him, he didn’t remember why that had scared him at all.


End file.
